Update

The last two weeks have been  incredibly hard. Alot of big changes took place. Due to things beyond our control we are not adopting the sisters we were hoping too and for now our home is closed to care.Our family needs prayers! On a positive note J and S are legally ours!! I have not heard from Tigger. I am praying she is doing well in the rehab program. We did take a short vacation and the kids had a absolute blast! We can't wait for Disney in march!! And I am thinking hard about Texas next summer! We have to have storms to enjoy the sunshine!! I am hanging on to that thought.

Gabby Girl

My dearest Gabby Girl.
       I was told yesterday that you grew your angel wings. At first I cried tears until I realized that you were dancing with your Mandy like the day at our house. I can just picture Mandy -you know you were the only one who could call her that- waiting for you at heavens gate. I am sure she took your hands and danced with you. Yes you can dance now Gabby girl your broken body is healed!! You can run and jump an yes dance with your feet! You don't have to dance in some one elses arms! I am smiling picturing it. I hugged your mommy last night. She is sad right now but knows you are in a far better place.
             

    Fly with the angels Gabby girl

And the kitchen sink too

I thought would give you a update on what's been going on lately.

Tigger- She was offered and accepted a deal. If she completes a rehab program her jail term will be suspended. We are praying she has a open heart and mind.

Our guests- They are still with us. We took them to the Dr. and they both are healthy! Next is the dentist! We love having them here and they are settling in. They do have wounds though. Please pray for them.

Our new girls- We met with their new caseworker and we should have them Aug. 5th!!! We are very excited!

Vacation- I booked rooms at a resort last night for the twenty first of this month! We are going for just one night. We are excited though. Will be our first vacation together. I may need my head examined though...lol. I love giving my kids experiences. In Feb we are shooting for Florida!!

Me- I go to the Dr tomorrow I am hoping he takes my central line out. I am getting stronger and feeling much better!!

Adoption- Two weeks and J and S will be legal!! Seems like it has taken forever. J is excited and telling everyone S dosnt get what the fuss is over... For awhile I thought they would complete our family. God had different plans!

Houses- Our house is getting closer to being done! We are praying we are moved before winter!! I love seeing it being built...can't wait till we are living in it.
The house my sister and brother on law are buying was inspected last night. The electric system failed the inspection. They could use.prayers for wisdom.

I think that's all the updates!

Happy Birthday??

Imagine for your 18th birthday instead of cake and presents you got homelessness and no hope. Instead of a new car and promises of a college education you got a dead end job ...if you have a job at all and no education ...maybe not even a high school diploma.

    Happy Birthday??

Statistics

27,000 children age out foster care
every year.

25% of those don't have a high school diploma or ged.

At age twenty three ...

    Less than half were employed.

    25% were homeless.

    60% had been convicted of a crime.

      80% have been arrested.

     6% had a two or four year degree.

Sources.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=125594259

http://www.ccainstitute.org/why-we-do-it-/facts-and-statistics.html

  

   

Out in the cold

A girl I used to work with showed up at our fourth of July picnic. I told her if she needed anything to call me and gave her my card. Her and her sister aged out of foster care and have no support or skills. You may think this is uncommon but it's not. It's actually very common. Anyways they showed up at our cabin tired and hungry with no where to go. They apologized for not calling first but they had no phone. Not sure what will happen but for now they have somewhere to sleep and food to eat and of.course people who love them. For these two there are many more who don't have those things today.Who are cold,hungry,tired,unloved. This is a national tragedy in my opinion!

Who?

We had teens and young adults from a local drop in center out today for a 4th of July lunch(which ended early because of the rain). I loved being able to fill their bellys and let them know we care but....
Who is going to love them?

Who will champion them?

Who will let them know they are special?

Who will cry for them?

Who will push them when they need a shove?

Who will let them know this world is a better place because they are here?

           Maybe that person is YOU!

Mishmash

Some if the kids came out and watched fireworks with us tonight and of course you can't have fire works without watermelon and marshmallows toasted over a fire! Don't worry I was good and only had some watermelon! It was good to see their smiling faces and the ooos and ahs at the fire works. I love summer! Can't wait until I am home with the kids! I called earlier this week to touch base with our (hopefully) new ones caseworker and was told she is no longer working there! I was able to talk to their new caseworker. I knew more than she did. She is coming out Monday to meet us! Please pray it goes well! These girls need a family!

Doing rice

One thing we use for therapy is what we call doing rice. We pour rice into a bowl. The amount is dependent on the ability if the child and what we want to accomplish. The child then has to scoop the rice into a empty bowl by the spoonful while accomplishing another task,such as saying a affirmation with each spoonful. If the child does not do the required task the rice is.dumped back in the first container and the child starts over. Currently we have one who will cut her own foot off rather than ask for help so with each spoonful she must ask for help. We get very creative in healing our kids! Doing rice is just one of the many things we do!

Tigger....update

I was able to talk to Tigger today. Not sure if she was outright lying or simply misinformed either way she told me information which I found out to be false. It is very hard to tell with her. Any trust I had with her has been destroyed. She has lied and has tried to manipulate me over and over. I take what she says with a grain of salt at this point. I still love her though nothing will change that. There really isn't much of a update on her. As of today she is still on jail. She does have a lawyer who is trying to get her rehab and probation instead of jail. I wish she was home with us making good choices!

Busy day?

I completely overdid today and wore myself to exhaustion. Sad thing is except for physical therapy and a stop at the store for groceries I really didn't do anything. I have to remember I am getting stronger. It wasn't too long ago that sitting up in bed wore me out. On a side note taking a nap on the porch swing will cause a sun burn. I am very red lol. With that I am off to sleep..I hope anyways.

Sharing my heart

I can't sleep and am feeling sentimental. I have someone that is very special to me that I want to write about. I look up to her and have a great deal of respect for her. I have known her for only four years but it feels like a lifetime. She is wise, compassionate, strong, bold, and not shy about voicing her opinion. I call her my sister however she is more of a mom to me. I believe God gives you who you need and I have no doubt I need her. She prays,laughs,and rejoices with me. She sees me at my best and worst. She has cried with and over me. I have no doubt she loves me and I love her right back. We have been through some deep valleys and on high mountain tops. I held her when she lost her husband and she held me when we lost my daughter. I was there the night she gave birth to her daughter.I am very blessed to have her in my life. She continues to teach me and help me grow in Christ. She was there praising when I accepted Christ on my knees and then when I was baptized. I hope she knows how much she means to me and how much I owe her. I can't even begin to repay all she's given.
I love you and thank you!

Too many

I was asked today if I thought we had too many kids. I gave this acquaintance the pat answer of I decided long ago that I would either have alot of cats or alot of.kids and I really don't like cats. The nitty gritty answer is before any child I consider we pray and pray some more and talk and talk some more and if we have peace we go with it. Yes, a large family does take more resources and organization. A large family is also fun and we are all very close. I love seeing one of my teens rocking a baby or big brother wrestling little ones on the floor.Our kids are close and look up to each other ...not that they don't fight like any other family. We have figured out a few tricks and learned many more. The biggest help has been the buddy system. Each little has a older buddy to help through the day and when we are out. We also have assigned chores. I resisted this for a long time however I have some very capable kids. A few I am convinced could run things as well as we do. We also have a sign out board so we know where everyone is at a glance.There are other things tgat I will share another time. The truth is it works because we.love our kids and make it work!

First ER trip of the summer

My nephew(no big surprise there to those that know him) decided to jump off the porch.After sitting all day with daddy in the emergency room he is home now with a cast on his foot. Not to worry not even a cast will slow that boy down. He is bummed though about no swimming for a few weeks! We can pray his porch jumping days are over!

Blessings

Someone anonymously donated pool passes to the city pool for all of us for the rest of the summer! I love when God uses someone to bless us. Thank you to the kind stranger who thought of our kids!!

What I know

Tigger had her arraignment this morning and I don't know much except the judge came down hard on her and she is still in jail.

Nothing

We have heard nothing from the sister's cw in the last few days. We are praying on taking their baby sister too. I am very conflicted about that possibility. I pray though soon as possible we will have our new ones with us but our timing is not God's and cps's timing. This maybe God's way of growing my patience.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is Tiggers arraignment hearing. I have very little experience with adult court and no idea what to expect. In my perfect fantasy world I would love for her to be released to rehab and she willingly go. I know however that's not likely to happen. I am fairly certain I will not attend. I will pray and wait for the phone call to let me know what happened. We are standing firm on not paying bail for her. I feel mean and harsh but I don't trust her to make good choices right now. So tonight I will pray for the right decisions to be made and for God to get ahold of her heart.

Warning bragging

I need to brag on my fourteen yo. She volunteered to cook supper tonight by herself for our tribe so her aunt could grab a quick much needed nap! She is growing up and showing maturity!!

Parenting teenagers isn't for the faint of heart.

A one of my teen boys was driving recklessly(by his own admission) and wrecked one of our cars. Thankfully he and the other driver are ok but choices have consequences and driving is a privilege. So for now he will walk or have to be chauffeured.

Tigger....the saga continues

Tigger was arrested yesterday. We were able to visit her today! At her request!! We were very honest with her and am praying she heard us. She says she wants to go back to rehab but that is up to the judge now. I am.praying this is her bottom. I pray that she will accept help now. Time will tell. Please pray the right decisions are made at her hearing Monday. We made it clear though we will not pay to bail her out.of jail. We will only pay for rehab. I am slightly hopeful!

Lazy summer day

I am sitting on my porch swing enjoying the beautiful day. We have cabin that I am recuperating at and I do believe this is my favorite spot. Of course being me I was thinking if we added on we all could come spend weekends here. Might not be as peaceful and calm then though so for today I will enjoy the quiet and imagine what my family is doing at home right now.

Romans 8:28

All things work together for good for those that love God and are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28. I love this verse. It has been proven to me over and over. Every time I cry why to God I know He has purpose. Whether it's to teach me a lesson I need to learn or so something even better can happen. I forget this time to time but my annoying sister quotes me this verse often. Sometimes it's easy to see His purpose other times it's not but I am learning He always has one. Something I have learned is His purpose dosnt always match up with what I think needs to happen. His "all things working together for good" isn't always ours. But as I am told a good parent sees the whole picture and not what is right in front of the.child!

Celiac

Started to write a couple different posts but nothing is coming out right tonight. Got some big news yesterday found out I have celiac disease. Trying to wrap my head around what it means. At least I know why I have been sick...praying I start to feel better soon.

Us

My two sisters
    S-She is wise,wears the steel toed boots in our family,isn't afraid to tell anyone how it is and has a weird things for bugs..lol
    J- Is sweet and kind,keeps things running smoothly,loves to cook and makes the best cookies.

I have a amazing brother in law who works hard and claims all the kids are his.

                Our Blessings

Helper-I am positive she can run the house with out us.she is a great role model for her sisters.she and my son in law and my beautiful grandson will be leaving us for Mexico in a few months.

Oldest- She is sweet caring and my only one who can sew. She is attending college and being a wonderful mommy.

A- He loves playing with the littles. and has a amazing singing voice.

E- My gentle giant. he will make a good daddy one day.

K- She is one of my quieter ones. Is a talented pianist.

Kiddo- She can fix anything.loves working with her hands! I love her work ethic.

Middle- She keeps us organized.Has overcome so much.

L- She is zany. has a unique fashion sense. loves making over her sisters.

J- She would live outside if we let her

Sunshine- She loves to read and dance. sometimes at the same time.

K- She is the child most like me. poor child. she is very creative.

Little one- She loves to play ball and swing.

J- She loves any sport. tries to organize the littles into teams for games. she is usually unsuccessful but she keeps trying.

L- Is sweet and loving our most tender hearted child.

Sis-Our wild woman.

S- Loves to laugh and squeal. is sweet to cuddle if you can hold onto her.

A- Is my baby and knows it!
            
           My nieces and nephew.

H- Is the sweetest child. she is our peace maker.

E- Is her mothers helper.loves to hold babies and help cook but hates to clean.

J- He is all boy. is often seen wearing his superman cape.

O- Is a sweet baby who loves attention from the bigger kids.

E- Our newest snuggle bug.

Tigger

Dear Tigger I
There is so much I want to say to you so much I want you to hear. You are not hearing me right now but I have been where you are and I can see where your headed. It scares me for you. Your choices scare me too but your eighteen and you know it all. I know you are scared and hurting I wish I could make it better for you but I can't  and that breaks your mom's heart. I know you have to want help. I wish I could make you want it but I can't. Please be safe and know that just because we do not agree with your choices right now does not mean we do not love you because we do! I pray for you constantly. I pray you are safe and have food to eat and somewhere warm and dry to sleep. I pray you reach out for help.I love you. I see so much of myself in you. I was praying you would learn from my mistakes but that was not to be . We all miss you. The porch light will be on until you come home.
Love your Mom

Crazy

There many issues

Little sis will most likely never live on her own.

Big sis has trauma related behavior.

We would have to add a ramp.

They both need alot of time and attention.

We never had a kid before that used a wheel chair.

WE MUST BE CRAZY!!

We have dealt with similar issues!

We know in our hearts they are our daughters!

He has opened doors and hearts!

We are crazy....ain't it wonderful!!

Our new ones

I have not made it official yet but the doors are being opened to adopt two sisters! Big sis is eleven and little sis is five! We are very excited!

Me

I am loud

I am passionate

I often act first and think later

I share a house with lots of people and not enough bathrooms

I have a heart for teens

I hate cooking but love eating

I am strong

I am learning how to be weak

I love and am loved

I love to read

My dream is to travel in a RV

I homeschool

I am a mean mom

I am a sucker for sappy movies

I love history

I love theme parks and fairs

I am me!

Attachment and Love

For most of my kids attachment and love have been abused in relation to them. We do alot of different things to show them love.and attachment in a positive way. It's hard work though for us and the child but so worth it!! I love when I get a hug or a smile from one of my kids or when I see them making good choices!! Some of our methods are wacky and at times the frustration runs high but the rewards are huge!!!

A certain nine year old

Our most challenging child is ironically home grown. For this blog I will call her sparkle because she sparkles. Sparkle was in a hurry to meet the world and was very tiny when born. After many months we brought her home and thought it would be easy sailing. We were WRONG. Oh boy were we wrong. We started noticing she was missing milestones. That was to be expected though we set up pt for her and carried on. Then came the rages and social delays and language delays. We quickly realized we were in over our heads. We tried to get sparkle services and found out that was impossible with out a diagnoses. So we went to Dr after Dr and clinics. The whole time her behavior was esclating. We tried everything that was suggested or we found on our own. She had to be admitted a few times to the hosp and then to a rt because of safety concerns. And is now currently living with a good friend who can give her the time and attention she needs. However she is doing AMAZING!!! Her rages and aggression are gone!...she is able to do most of her own hygiene and on a good day even helps around the house. I love the progress she has made and we are hoping to bring her home very soon!!....I have high hopes for her! She is very creative and a extremely talented artist! She has a flair for drama...the teen years should be so much fun!! She is also a girly girl and loves anything pink and sparkly! And claims she is going to be a astronaut when she grows up! She frustrates me but I love being her mom!

Dx's

Our kids have many dx's{diagnoses} some of them mental health..some physical health. Adhd{attention deficit hyperactivity disorder}....odd{oppositional defiance disorder}...Bipolar...rad{reactive attachment disorder}..... ptsd{post traumatic stress disorder}..Autism...aids....cp{ cerebal palsy}...epilepsy....to just name a few. I promise I am going somewhere with this. One thing I have learned is you can't parent the disorder you parent the child!!! What this means for us is that we don't massage our nine year old with a vibrating massager to calm her because she has autism but we do it because it works....or we don't give our little ham medicine because she has aids rather we do to keep her healthy! Dx's are a necessary evil to qualify children for services however I refuse to let my.children be defined by a dx!! To do so would give them a excuse to give up! Children will only do what you expect them too and I expect them to soar!!

Gratitude

A very wise friend suggested I blog a gratitude list so here it is!
1. I am feeling better physically
2.I have sisters who are amazing
3.I have some amazing kids
4. I am loved!

Real ain't always sunshine and rainbows

Today I am just plain sad. I have two wayward daughters who are making choices that just plain STINK!...and two others who grew their angel wings. I miss them all. Today my heart just plain hurts! Today I want to hold them and I can't ....so I sit and cry.

Discouraged part 2

Yesterday the triplets turned nine. It bothers me that I wasn't able to celebrate with them. I spent yesterday very discouraged. It's hard not to.look at how big the waves are instead of how big my God is!

Discouragement

I have been sick for a very long time and am running short of patience. I tried food today by mouth and to say it didn't go well would be a understatement! What I need to remember though is I am getting stronger....I am being healed...this is running on His timetable not mine!

My goals

I want to use this blog to share my growing faith and also share my passion for adoption and kids!! I like to talk about alot of things! I am hoping I can encourage and be encouraged!

Who we are

We are a family. Nothing more....nothing less....

What we are about

Thought we would tell everyone what we are about to start this blog off!
A personal walk with God {My faith is new but I am growing!}

Adoption {we love kids}

Therapy {we eat,breathe,and sleep therapy}

Laughter {our home is filled with joy! I love it!}